A Blog About Mr Right

Ok I'm going to put this out there right now.  I'm not overly excited about writing this topic, but I feel it has become an important factor in my life of late and maybe it's something I should really address.  I'm kind of cringing at the thought of opening up about this subject.  But in doing so, I might even find some sort of closure and peace.  I also feel that there are maybe others who are going through what I am going through and/or feel the same way I do.  It might a gentle message to them to not be discouraged.

So a quick recap:

I had my first boyfriend at 17, and dated several different guys until I was 23 when I met Chris, we had a child together, left him middle of last year, VERY BRIEFLY 'dated' someone else and I've been pretty much single ever since (by choice).  I don't want to go into the nitty gritty, but really it's not relevant (or anyone's business for that matter).

I seemed to follow a emotionally destructive pattern: I met them, went on a date, slept with them, 'fell' for them and then get dishonourably dumped.... oh and then find myself feeling like an idiot and 'wondering' where I went wrong.  Deep down I knew EXACTLY where I went wrong, but I was too young, stupid and stubborn to clearly realise.  I figured that one would just eventually work.

I've gone through all the 'mud': Dumped, be-littled, cheated on, not wanting to be seen in public with them, not feeling acknowledged, treated like a child, emotionally blackmailed, emotionally abused.

The biggest turning point for me came with the last two men.  I think three factors really came into play this time:

1. I had a daughter and it's setting a poor example to her when her mother isn't being strong.
2. I had a really awesome, constructively honest and supportive group of friends that were open and honest with me.
3. I decided I had enough of being treated like garbage by others.

After the years of going through this mindless, meaningless pattern, I've had enough! I can't deal with the emotional hurt, the feeling of having to tip toe on eggshells, on having to compromise my standards to make my man happy, to have to tolerate their behaviour when it's clearly not ok, to not speak up when I have a problem and most of all, feeling like I am right down the bottom of someone's priority pile. And then I look at my daughter.  I think about how upset and hurt I get when I go through these hurtful moments and I don't ever wish it upon her.  I want her to know that it's perfectly acceptable to be patient and not compromise standards to make others happy.

So I am taking a stand. I've decided I'm changing my outlook on love.  I've decided I'm changing my approach.  Not just for me, but for my child.

I want a man that shares my interests, attractive, intelligent (doesn't have to be brain, but I don't do completely unintelligent), has passions/goals/aspirations, a gentleman, has some degree of fitness (or at least enjoy sport), Share my faith (or at least be understanding of my beliefs), is willing to be patient with me, likes to laugh and have fun, has a positive outlook on life, is understanding that I have a child as well, doesn't be-little me, is willing to acknowledge me to friends, and is looking at the POSSIBILITY of long-term. And above all, is willing to chase ME.

I really don't care.  I want and deserve respect.  I want and deserve happiness.  I refuse to go through my past hurts again.  And I'm CERTAIN if he's the right person, he will meet those qualities.  In the meantime, I'm enjoying living my life as a single mum to the most amazing daughter I could ask for..... so I am happy to wait :-)


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