Victim mentality

I feel the need to write this blog as a means of encouragement for some.  In a small ways it's a little bit of encouragement for myself in my own journey.  Maybe there are times in your life where a situation works against you and it deals a bit of a blow. Or something close to your heart has entered your life and suddenly exited.

It's these situations that provide an opportunity for emotional growth and teach you about a new dimension of yourself.  It also starts to shape you for the next phase of your life.

I've met so many people (and I am so guilty of it myself) where they get so cut up about the situation and get so worked up about the situation rather than actually do something about it.  The biggest lesson I am learning is that sometimes the best starting point is to evaluate where you're at and your part in the breakdown of that situation.  Then make the steps to fit your end of things.  If the others involved are willing to come to the party, they will (and make their necessary changes).  If they aren't interested or have their own hangups about it, then obviously it's not meant to be.  But you walk away from the entire situation more emotionally mature, wiser and actually learn something new about yourself.... particularly in how you interact with others.  

I have had a few pivotal events happen to me where I was just so angry and caught up that I never actually sat down and asked MYSELF where I went wrong.  It was everyone else's fault..... I was the victim! (*For the record, that doesn't make the other better.... it's up to THEM to decide and make the changes.) So after I cried over it  and took some quiet time to reflect on where I went wrong. I wrote my lessons down and what I needed to do to rectify them.  It's never easy.... in fact it hurts..... the truth is painful...... you never want to hear that you had a part in a failing cause.  But when you sit and reflect on it and make the right steps, you grow as a person and the 'next time' or 'replay' turns out better.  Sometimes those involved come back, other times they don't.  If they come back, put those changes into play and take the time to deal with the situation in order to move forwards.  If they don't come back, then see it as preparation for the future. I can't wait to see what the future holds for me.  I'm learning my lessons and putting them into play and enjoying what's coming from it.  And I will continue to do that.... learn and grow from my mistakes and my failings.

So I encourage you today if a situation has happened and you're playing the victim or asking what could have been, then try these 8 things.  They seem pretty vague, but the simplest things work:

1. Re-evaluate the situation in it's ENTIRETY and BE HONEST.
2.  Write down things that YOU need to develop from (no blame games).
3. Write down how you are going to work on those things (from a productive perspective) and DO SOMETHING.
4. Heal your heart during the process in order to rediscover yourself.
5.  Stay around positive people.  The toxic ones will dig you deeper.
6. Take it as a means of growth..... not stalling.
7.  Love YOU in the process then you'll have a new outlook on others in your healing process.
8. Don't over analyse and complicate things.

Enjoy your day! :-)


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