A situation you didn't want (but knew you needed)

I just want to take a moment to say I had one of "I think I just grew up" moments today.  I was literally sitting on the couch eating dinner and thought back on the events of today and considered how I handled myself compared to how I would have handled myself 6 months ago.  I am kind of proud of myself.... no wait.... I am very proud of myself.

Now those who know me well know that I do have the tendency to get quite defencive of my actions.  I never handled constructive criticism well at all.  I would tend to have a big cry and start to abruptly defuse on those involved.  Learning to overcome this has been a very slow and difficult process.  I'd have to say that this is one of my biggest weaknesses, but I working really hard to resolve this!

But as I've said time and time again this year, I made a commitment to address and work on my negative attributes and grow as a person.  And it's an on-going process.  I may have committed to it in 2013, but I am certain it's a life-long commitment.  Soooo I guess if I ask for personal growth opportunities, they are going to fall on my lap whether I am ready or not.

So today that opportunity came.  The old 'defensive' Krystal would have just wanted to lie in foetal  position in the corner and have a cry, then post a essay email to those involved defending myself.  But after a few deep breaths, telling myself it's not personal and a debrief with some amazing mentors, that feeling went away.  There were some things said in the debriefing that actually made me really reflect that this is an opportunity to improve. It also made me consider that deep down these were things I knew I needed to address.... and now they are simply out in the open (so no turning back!).  So this is my opportunity to either take it personally, do nothing about it and make the same error over and over..... or address what is causing this and do something about it so I don't do it again.  Why make the same mistake twice? It achieves nothing really! Also after I got home, I realised deep down (and after encouragement from my debrief) that the entire situation is so minute, can easily be fixed and is no reflection on myself as a person.

In reflecting on what has happened, it wasn't so much how I handled the situation that made me proud, it's another sign that I am on the right track with this whole personal growth process.  But my job isn't done.... not by a long shot.  And I am completely 100% fine with that.  :-)


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