Something Stupid: Dealing with that Moment of Feeling Naive

Have you ever had one of those moments where you feel like you were given false hope? Or treated like you've naive? Or found out something by accident and it was in-fact quite hurtful?

*raised hand*

It happens to me ALOT.  I am a dreamer.... I am too nice to people..... I always hope for the best rather than expect the worst. So in turn, I get treated like a child and at times given false hope.

In the past, being the angry and resentful person I was, I would have gone to town on these situations and played the victim card.  I would have been bitter and publicly displayed my disgust to the point of 'gossip'.

But in this changing of season that I've dedicated myself to, it only makes sense to change my approach on this as well.  If you've been in this position or have seen it from my old perspective, then it's worth reading on.

I have had a couple of issues in particular where this has occurred: One involving a business and one involving a friend who's no longer a friend:

The business one (NOT my place of work btw.... I LOVE MY FULL TIME JOB!!!) involved being given the false hope about an outcome I worked hard for (I am not going to name and shame).  It was one of those situations where I was given some hope of a positive outcome (and I worked hard for it) only to find out down the track I never even had a chance to begin with.  I actually felt a little stupid because I invested my time into something that wasn't really 'worth my time' (during that angry moment).  I was ready to walk away and write a blunt letter telling them how awful they are and that I'll never walk into their business again.... blah blah blah. But in the end, I've decided to walk away.  I will honour my time with them then I will just walk away and move onto another business..... it's only for 3 months and I can search for a new place in the meantime. I figure that getting angry with them isn't going to achieve a thing and to be honest, it's only going to bring me down to their level.  Sometimes it's just easier to pack up and just walk away.

And the friend. The friend was someone I dated briefly who I had a big falling out with because I let my anger rule my logic. I kind of had fallen for him and I let that cloud my judgement.  Long story short, I was told some things that made me feel 'stupid' and disappointed, because the guy I 'fell for' wasn't really the man I fell for.  So in my moment of anger, I made a poor judgement, tried to rectify it down the track and after that the fall out happened.  This individual and I aren't speaking anymore and I admit it's a little bit sad, because I really valued our friendship. I can't say if we'll ever repair this friendship, but here's to hoping I guess (as I like to hope and dream a lot). But I guess if we were ever going to sort out anything, it will happen in it's own time, so I'm making the choice to keep my distance until the dust has fully settled.

So at the end of the day, here's some advice if you're in a moment where you feel a little 'stupid' and begin to let your anger and emotions take over:

1. Before you make any rash decisions, step back, take a breath and see it from all perspectives. 
2. Don't let emotions cloud your judgement.  Sometimes it's so easy to get angry and be the aggressor to protect yourself.  But are you really protecting yourself or opening the gate to more hurt?
3. Forgive! Forgiveness doesn't make what they have done right, but it gives you the peace you need to move on.
4. See it as an experience.  What did you learn for next time?
5. Be prepared to walk away.  Sometimes it's easier to walk away than keep walking around in circles over a situation.  Let nature take it's course.  If it's meant to work out, it will.  If it's not meant to work out, you will have lived an experience.

Remember that you are bigger and better than your anger!

Have a great evening!


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