Reflection

Yesterday was a big turning point for me where I started to realise that my continual prayer for personal peace is being answered. I've been going through this year of growth (or I guess soul searching) and when you look at it day by day, it's hard to measure outcome. But looking back on all the days combined, I have made so many changes in my life that I never knew possible! I honestly can't even begin to imagine how I managed to live my life with so much worry, impatience, anger and resentfulness. I allowed my past and issues define me which made everything a struggle. I always did everything I could to try and fit in somewhere by trying to be someone that I am not. And most of all, every decision I made was out to benefit everyone else, which in turn bought me a lot of stress because I worried about what others thought.

But yesterday I was reminded of how much I have changed. I was down the beach after catching up with a close fiend and just having some time with Tayla. In the mist of the wave riding, beach walking and watching Tayla play, I took some time to remember who I was. Then I reset myself a mindset which I have been starting to follow for the last few days:

- I shouldn't put myself in a place where my intuition is flying a red flag.  All it does is create more unnecessary baggage in my life.

- No more comparing. My life is MY life. Their life is THEIR life. Why would I want to try and follow a path that's clearly not mine? I should be looking to others for positive influence, not destructive criticism!

- I need to stop worrying about what I don't have and just work with what I do have. I just need to be more creative in my approach. And besides it just keeps bringing about so much unnecessary stress.... Which is holding me back! I need to keep enjoying and celebrating what I have now.

- Every season comes in it's perfect timing.... There's so many awesome things to enjoy while I am waiting! For now, my focus is on being myself as an individual, myself as a mother, myself as a Christian and myself as a Teacher. That's my current season and I am going to enjoy every second of it!

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