Authentic self

Through this process of finding myself at a deeper level lead me to start considering removing my social media accounts.  Yesterday I made the move to deactivate my Facebook account and remove my Instagram app from my phone.  I can't say how long this will be for, it could be a month..... 6 months..... a year..... maybe forever..... who knows!  But I know it's definitely the right decision for me :-).  I did it for several reasons:

1. It was a terrible procrastinator:  I still kept myself busy and did other things, but it really was a distraction that wasn't using my time properly.  This is one of my very minor reasons.

2. I felt it fed my desire to seek validation: You really don't realise until you think about your habits, but that 'like' and 'comment' button has such power over you if you're not truly in tune with yourself or you want validation from others.  It takes a beautiful moment in my life and turns it into a gauge of what the world thinks.  

3. I want to find my authentic self:  To be honest, I don't think I'll ever truly be comfortable with myself when I'm involved with something where it is so easy to be viewed and judged.  My true self is who I am outside of social media.  Who those closest to me come to know and those who want to know me more (in a non-creepy kind of way), will make the effort to get to know me.

4. I want to build meaningful relationships outside of social media: Don't get me wrong, I have met some exceptional people on social media and made some great friendships, but really the true growing comes when you create the time to be around them.  I admit that some of my closest relationships are a little stagnant because I haven't devoted enough time to them.  It's not just social media..... it's also me learning to find my balance in general life.

5. I feel like it takes pressure off me to be accepted:  I had a very busy day yesterday and it felt really liberating to just do it in private without feeling like I had to be accepted by others.  Although I like being around others, deep down I do appreciate just being around close friends and just going out and doing life with myself and those closest to me.  I firmly believe that those who want to share my life with me will do so.

These last few weeks have been really huge for me on an emotional level.  But I am so thankful for the changes that I am making because I know it's working me towards becoming my true authentic self.  Who knows what the next few months to years have in store for me?  Really what's the point in even thinking about something that's not there yet?  I have confidence that I will just keep growing emotionally and spiritually to a point where this is the norm and I'm ok with that.  :-)