Anyway.... so what did day 4 have to offer me????
I have really become aware that I have a cycle I go through which gets me into trouble in life:
I look at what I 'think' I really want -----> it doesn't work out as quickly as I would like -------> I get extremely frustrated and wonder why I didn't have it yesterday --------> I compare myself to try and find out why ---------> I manifest negative thoughts about myself because I can't measure myself to the person that I am comparing myself to -------> I start making silly decisions.
This pattern has caused me to make so many errors of judgement throughout my life, or manifest thoughts that don't parallel with my true self.
But I have to proudly say that I've cut right back on comparing myself to others through reversing the thought and distracting myself. I am also making a huge effort to evaluate my decision before I act upon them. Some of these have involved adapting my thinking and others have involved just simply letting go and giving it time to go or go away on it's own. It hasn't been easy, but I am certain I am becoming stronger and more sure of myself by doing this.
I have set myself three BIG challenges over the next 16 days:
1. Try to focus on the present moment rather than stress about the future (and what's not in my control). I think this one will come through just focusing on what I have now, make a decision about what I would like in the future and use the present opportunities to work towards it.
2. Really put the energy into using my time and money better. I am improving with time management. I have my prayer time as soon as I wake up, then I exercise (Tayla usually wakes up just after - I usually have to get up at 5am to get this stuff done). Then I work through my day. I find as soon as I get back to work, by routine in the afternoon goes completely out of wack and I find it really difficult to take off the 'teacher' hat and be the 'homemaker/parent'. I also find I neglect time with my family and friends because of it.
3. Start to challenge myself to grow in Faith and really embrace my single season. This is my opportunity to really make an impact - why am I thinking about something that is not in my present. Continually exercising patience is a huge challenge!
So may the next 16 days bring about a huge change in me that makes me stronger and more certain of who I am!