I feel like I need to write this, especially for all those people out there (particularly females) that are going through a love and acceptance issue. Those who have gone through heartbreak, bullied by others, desperately seeking love in all the wrong places, frustration in 'finding' the right partner and the craving to be accepted. I want to write to you as a source of comfort and inspiration. I want you to read this and know you're not alone and that there's a light at the end of the tunnel.
Have you ever had that feeling of 'emptiness'? Like all you want is to be accepted? For someone to care about you and adore you? You search for it in the hope that the void will be filled. But when it doesn't work out you start to feel a sense of resentment towards yourself or the person, or sadness because your emotional quota wasn't filled.
If this is you, take a moment to ask yourself these questions. And I mean SERIOUSLY AND TRUTHFULLY ask yourself these:
1. If I met Mr/Mrs Right now, would I truly be happy?
2. Is this person I am searching for there to truly love or simply there to fill a empty void?
3. Am I truly loving this person for WHO they are rather than WHAT they are?
4. Have I truly come to know MYSELF before I've made the time to know a potential love interest?
If you're starting to ummmm and ahhhh or can't clearly answer these, you really need to reconsider why you're looking for love to begin with. Let's look at it from the other side. Would you appreciate someone dating you because THEY desperately want to be happy? Would you want someone to love you in order to fill their emotional void rather than love YOU as a person? Would you want to be with someone that is so distracted with their own issues and insecurities rather than flourish in a loving relationship? So imagine how it must feel for that other person when it's YOU! Of course they are not going to be interested. I'm going to generalise here (so don't get offended), but people are attracted to positive and emotionally secure people. Be fair to that other person and love them for who they are not what they have to offer.
Consider these five points when you get those moments of feeling 'lonely' and looking for that special someone:
1. Take the time to know and understand yourself and what you have to offer first. Confidence and positivity is such an attractive feature that draws the right people in.
2. Let them chase. If you're emotionally insecure and chase, it's so easy to blur your judgement. When you do find the right person, you completely stuff up because you're in the wrong headspace to begin with.
3. If you do find the right person, clean the slate. Yes there will be issues that will eventually come to the forefront, and will probably be dealt with when the FOUNDATIONS of a relationship are strong over time. But don't let these issues dominate a relationship. Leave the past in the PAST.
4. Don't get disheartened when you're the last to settle down. Everyone walks a different journey, when it's your time it will happen. Try not to test the boundaries of destiny, let it flow naturally.... love is patient. When that right person does come along, you'll be so glad you waited.
5. Find other ways to fill your emotional void. Be a best friend, a loving relative, a kind-hearted individual, a reliable and fun worker. Get a hobby to keep yourself occupied. Find things that make you happy and grow as a person. There is a massive world out there, don't let your emotional well-being be dictated by what someone thinks of you!
You are a beautiful person who has a great life to live. Don't allow the hurt of the search steal away precious energy that you could use to give love to others that matter just as much. Go out and find out more about the beautiful person you are and what you have to offer, then everything else will fall into place with time.