The Grudge Lesson
Throughout our lives circumstances happen where we have face up it, deal with it and accept it in order to move forwards. Even the strongest individuals occasionally get faced with an issue that catches them off guard and knocks them down a couple of notches. Sometimes it's something the individual has never experienced or hoped to experience. But it's how they respond that determines how strong they really are.
I am facing one of these knock back moments. I am facing this particular situation for the first time, and along the way I have experienced hurt, anger, frustration, sadness, and confusion. But on the same level, my experience is teaching me a lot of life lessons. I am not going to go into the background of the particular situation, but a few impulse actions have caused a massive disagreement which in turn have impacted on a friendship, which in turn makes things really awkward, because we basically deal with each other on a regular basis. Now I've gone through a situation like this before, but eventually the person in question has left town or moved on in their life where I haven't had to deal with them.
So big life lesson in the works...... I'm learning this simple lessons. Maybe you're going through the same thing and these might apply to you:
1. Never act on impulse. Take a moment to 'sleep on it' and think carefully before you act. When things are done in anger, sometimes it can't be taken back. What's done is done. Taking the time to think about it gives you time to find a more proactive way to deal with the situation as a whole.
2. The silent treatment achieves nothing. (I'm putting my hand up for this one) If a room is silent, nothing happens. If a person is silent, then progress doesn't happen. If two people are silent, then tension builds. But in noise, be proactive not destructive.
3. Don't hold a grudge. It takes more energy to be angry at someone than to just simply be civil. Even if you don't like them or agree with their choices, it doesn't hurt to just put differences aside and be nice. Let's face it, not everyone can get along, issues happen, changes happen, arguments happen.
4. See the situation from a bigger perspective. Was it something small that was blown out of proportion, or something bigger than needs to be dealt with professionally? Approach the person and discuss the situation. Sometimes it could be something as simple as miscommunication. Unfortunately in some cases, the other person sees the issue as beyond repair.... this is where step five comes in!
5. Let go and move on. Sometimes you can get to a point where you're banging your head against a brick wall. You try everything in your power to resolve the issue, but nothing is coming from it, or both won't come to the party. In these circumstances, sometimes it's just best to take it for what it is and move forward. Why waste your energy trying to fix something that's broken beyond recognition? Sometimes eventually things will work out in their own time or things will naturally flow in the direction they are meant to go.
6. Reflect and learn from your mistakes. Ever heard the phrase:
"Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me."
Think about what you did to make things go wrong. Write down three lessons you have learnt from the experience. Life is experiences. Experiences happen and lessons are learnt so you don't repeat them. Experiences also happen so that you can be a wise influence to others who are going through the same thing.