A whisper of gratitude

I want to tell a story about the most beautiful and inspiring person I have ever had the pleasure of
knowing.  I am yet to meet another woman who even comes close to her.  Her beauty and kindness exceeded those of others.  Her heart was so full of love and always in the right place.  The attention and patience she had towards others was just incredible.

I speak of my beautiful Nonna, Anna who sadly passed in 2010 after a long battle with secondary cancer.  A beautiful prayer warrior.  The woman who through years of prayer and persistence saved my life beyond her life.  The one person in the world I still cry over, pray over, love and miss more than words.  The woman who always gave me hope when I felt down.  The woman who believed in me when no one cared.  The woman who believed I could achieve great things in my life.  The woman who taught me to put my heart into everything I did.  The woman who tried to teach me about patience.  The woman who taught me about Christ, about the Bible, about living the Christian lifestyle.  Even when things got tough, she kept a strength within her character that I admire enormously.

Although her death was difficult to comprehend, the small events that happened in the background prior to and after were a small Godly miracle in itself. I remember a work colleague years ago talking about a concept called 'God whispers' and I firmly believe this whole event was an example of it.

The day before Nonna died, Mum asked myself and my sister to come up to say our farewells as it was nearing the end of her life.  So I took Tayla and Sarah and Donald took Jazzmin.  When we got there, we spent some time with Nonna talking to her and the girls and Stephanie's boys said hello to her.  That night our Aunty Norma went out for dinner to have a break and myself and my sisters decided to stay at the house to keep an eye on things (Stephie was working in palative care at the time so she knew what to look for).  While this was all happening, Mum and Chris were trying to get Tayla (she was six months at the time) to sleep at Mum's house but she just wouldn't calm down.  Tayla was then sent back to Nonna's and I placed her in a room two doors down from Nonna's room.  Just like that, Tayla went straight to sleep without any comfort or prompting. For that entire time she didn't wake up once, which was really unusual.  My sisters and I continued to chat through the night about our memories of Nonna. Norma came back later that night and we chatted to her for a bit before we all were too tired to stay awake so went to bed.

But then at about 4am that morning, Tayla woke up.  She was crying or whining, she just woke up and was just calming saying "Mumma, mumma, mumma" like she was trying to wake me up.  I kept trying to get her back to sleep, but she wouldn't budge. It was so unusual because she was under no distress nor did she want to play, she just wanted me awake.  Eventually after an hour, she calmly went back to sleep without any comforting or prompting.  The power had also briefly cut out, but then came back on.  In my tired state, I thought nothing of it and went back to sleep.

The next morning I woke up alone in the bed.  I thought maybe I should go in and see Nonna again.  As I walked out, Chris came up to me and told me how sorry he was that Nonna had passed.  I told him not to be silly and she was in the room.  But he proceeded to tell me that she passed early this morning. I broke down.  I was heartbroken and completely devastated.  I was told that she passed just after 5am, around the time the power went out.  I was also told that the power went out all through Tully Heads.  I was also told that her last moments were about an hour.  This was during the time that Tayla was awake and kept me awake.

God was acknowledging and wanted the world to acknowledge this special prayer warrior.  He wanted to give a public display of how unique and special my Nonna truly was.  How when she died that for a moment, our small world stopped.  How Tayla kept waking me up because it was truly time to say goodbye.  How Tayla wanted to sleep close by because it was a small lead up to that moment.

Although Nonna is gone, I still find great comfort in those small whispers from God, those small gestures of gratitude for the love she gave and the selfless life she lived.  I am convinced that woman prayed for me to be saved.  I am convinced she prayed for me to find peace and direction.  Thanks to her prayers, I eventually found God.  Thanks to her, I am living a life full of positivity, love and gratitude.

My message to you, is don't give up on someone.  Keep praying they find peace and direction.  My Nonna persisted with me and look what she achieved beyond life.

Thank you Nonna.  Thank you.

Below is a short letter I wrote to her just after I died:

Tomorrow I am headinig up to Tully to farewell my Nonna and celebrate her extrodinary life. My Aunty asked me if I wanted to write something to say at the funeral. I had MAJOR writer's block unitl this arvie.....

"In the days leading to Nonna's passing, I wanted to find a way to thank and acknowledge my Nonna for all that she has done for me in my life. She gave me hope when I felt lost, cheered me up when I felt down, inspired me when I had no inspiration. I didn't know what to write for the life of me. I wanted to thank Nonna and celebrate her life at the same time. I even handwrote my speech because she always got me to write things down for her. Come to think of it, I am pretty much writting a message for her now.

When Nonna was still alive, I occassionally thought about the inevitablle: What would I do without my Nonna? The idea of not having Nonna was completely foreign to me! I still have "Nonna and Nonno" in my phone book and I still say that I'm going to Nonna and Nonno's. This is all I know. What I am used to. I always told people that if Nonna ever died, the world would stop. How ddo I take something away that is so importaht in my life. And then it happened. Nonna died and for a moment, the world stopped. After she died, the power went out. It was almost like the spark in our lives had been extinguished. The world acknowledged that Nonna's life and spirit was so bright that it should be recgonised. But then God realised that we really needed that spark. We needed hope, love, inspiration, happiness and security. He gave us back our power to help us recgonise that the spark that Nonna has is still here within us, through photos, memories, our spirit, our morals.

Nonna, I love you more than everything. Although I will miss you, you will always be in my memories, my heart, my soul and my spirit. Now it is time to rest.... I love you more...... xxoo
Nonna and Tayla when she was about a month old. Tayla loved comming over to sing and play with Nonna....


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