Social media detox
It's something that has been on my mind for a while and today I decided that enough is enough. I've decided to delete my Facebook and Instagram accounts. And I can tell you it was such a liberating feeling!
There were several reasons why I made this decision, but in the end I needed to consider my emotional well-being and the direction that I want to head with my life. I found that although social media can have it's pros, I also found it to be one of the things that started to damage my self-esteem and perception of the world. I found that I was continually comparing myself and setting my own personal bar beyond what I was capable of. I also found that I was starting to validate myself based on status updates which in the grand scheme of things, is damaging.
I've reached a point in my life where all I want is simplicity and privacy. Admittedly, I feel kind of stupid telling the world that I have taken my daughter to the park, or been to the gym, or going to a party with friends. My experiences should be validated by my OWN personal fulfilment through the experience, not by what others say, think and 'like' about it. I actually don't plan to go back to it and I am completely fine with it!
I've had some really off moments in the last few weeks where I have had to really sit down and re-evaluate strategies towards complete peace and healing. I am quietly hoping that taking this step in connection with what I am already doing (which I chose not to speak about) will be of great help. I also feel this entire process will give me more strength in loving who I am enough to not require the validation of others.
Ultimately I am a single mother, who only has my child 50% of the time and I love her more than I would ever care to imagine and would do anything for her. I work full-time in the stressful profession of teaching, I teach fitness on the side and love it. I love to cook, do crafts, go for runs and garden. I feel more comfortable doing things on my own (I like my own company) and I actually don't enjoy hanging out in large groups. I struggle with 'fitting in' because of bullying as a child and various hurtful men in my life - but I have come to peace with that although situations trigger me off. I fear heights, failure and rejection, but I have become desentized to all of them except heights. I really want more tattoos on my arm, but am too scared to because of my job. I love working freely at my own pace and hate confrontation. I am sensitive, get stressed out and cry when it's too hard and honestly I don't give a flip what others think about that. Yep... that's me in a nutshell! And I don't have to seek validation from others about it through a status update and it feels pretty darn great!
I am still going to keep blogging my journey though because I know others are walking with me through this. I also want to keep speaking into others lives because I want purpose to come from what I have experienced in my life.... :-)