Why Are You Pointing at Me?

For those who don't know, as well as being a Mum (and my million other hobbies), I work full-time as a Secondary Teacher.  I recently had parent/teacher interview night and there were a few parents I interviewed where their child had a trait that I was all too familiar with.  These were students that take things to heart and very personally.

This afternoon I was thinking about that particular trait and remembering back to when I was at my worst.  I had a serious problem with getting emotional and taking things personally. Well actually (I can be honest with myself here) I know I still have a problem with it and it's all a work in progress.  It's taking a lot of hard work to overcome it, but I'll take the progress I am making any day.

If you ever (or still do) have that trait, you would understand how destructive it can be.  It's a habit that plays on your mind, derails your confidence,  and impacts on trust.  You start to feel like the weakest link...... like people are just simply out to get you.

Unfortunately it can be so easy to take things personally, especially when there are confidence issues connected.  Because really at the end of the day, that's all it comes down to: CONFIDENCE.  When there is no confidence in yourself, others, or a situation at hand, it's so easy to feel like everyone is blaming you for the situation.  It's so easy to get frustrated because it seems like those around you are trying to take away your sense of control.  But really they simply want to help you.

Here's a few small tips on how to work on overcoming this trait (it's working for me so far).  It might require you to dig deep at times, but it's totally worth it in the end:

1.  Don't over-analyse what others say to you.  See it for EXACTLY what it is.  If you were asked to not do a certain task, there is an reason why it's been said.

2. Learn to distinguish the difference between a comment about you PERSONALLY and you SITUATIONALLY.  If you've been asked specifically to do something, it's not an attack on who you are as a person.  It's an opportunity to be constructive and give you advice on how to improve.  Or how to make your link on the chain even tighter.

3.  Take a 'time-out' before you react.  The first and most immediate reaction can be the most emotional one.  Take a moment to constructively see the situation for what it is before you speak.  And never put your first reaction in writing..... it bites you later! Tears and anger might achieve something in the short term, but is it really worth it in the long run?

4.  Talk to someone.  Now I don't mean have a gossip at the water cooler about why Marty in accounts hates you, but go and speak to the relevant people directly.  Ask them why the situation is what it is.  Ask them what you need to do to do better next time.  Keep the conversation calm and constructive.

5.  Don't dwell on it.... REFLECT on it!  Life happens, things happen..... mistakes happen to help you grow as a person.  Don't sit around for the rest of your life wondering what could have been on something that happened too long ago for anyone to really remember.  Address the issues and move forward..... dwelling requires WAY too much negative energy which you could be using on making a positive contribution to the world!

Remember that you were placed on this Earth to live for an amazing purpose.  Life is full of possibilities, positivity and sometimes hurdles.  Don't think too much about the scars that came from the hurdle falls.  Look to the road ahead and the amazing opportunities that lie on it!

Enjoy your day. :-)

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