Trust and Letting Go... Part 2???

 I think I have posted about this in the past… maybe it’s somewhere.  But for the first time in a really long time (well kind of ever really) I’m investing the time and energy and the concept of trust and letting go.  Experiences have pulled me into a space of needing to know what’s going on and what’s ahead so I feel a sense of control over a situation.  I guess this comes from a space of there being a point in time where I had to have an element of control from a place of survival and from that got caught in the waves of control over outcomes.  With that breeding a behaviour of anxiety and stress that I need to know what’s ahead to give me a sense of peace and calm over situations.

Now one would think that this would be very helpful and bring a sense of peace and calm.  If I could be honest, it kind of did the opposite.  It pulls me into a state where I start overthinking and becoming consumed by the idea which in turns brings unnecessary stress to the surface.  Definitely not in an unhealthy way by any means, more in a way that doesn’t bring out the best version of myself.  

But I’ve decided very recently to be very intentional with and reflective upon trusting and letting go of outcomes.  I also feel like everything around me has been sending that very strong message: books, videos, podcasts, random conversations I’ve had with people.  It’s been kind of crazy how much this has been on the forefront.  And to be honest, it’s been really hard to face and a tricky habit to work on.  But with that, I know that with time, repetition and patience it will get better.

In saying that, obviously I don’t want to share specifics around what I’m working on as that’s my space to work on.  BUT I want to kind of return to some roots of what this blog had by adding some teachable thoughts that I hope can help someone reading this.  Truthfully, I have absolutely no idea who reads these and how this helps anyone, but I do have that small hope that someone out there in the world gets something positive from what I’m saying and changes their world in a small way like others have done for me. So… yeah… some conclusions I’ve come to which I hope helps someone here:

• 
  Trust and letting go is an invitation to be open to something bigger than what you feel you are capable of or didn’t even consider.  I could sit here and think I know or understand what I really need in my life and to a degree in my gut I do.  But my flawed side and experiences forget sometimes that I deserve much more than I give myself credit for.  And who knows, I might uncover something that I never ever considered and it could be the greatest move which brings out the greatest version of myself.
• Every time I force something, it not only brings stress and lack of clarity to the outcome, but it also on a deeper level feels out of alignment and unnatural.  On a deeper level, you know what’s right and where you should be.  If it has you consistently doubting, asking questions or that sick feeling in your stomach, it’s forces and misaligned.
• 
  Trying to control or force something feeds something internally which pulls you further away from what is meant for you.  When you are stuck on something that’s not for you, it pulls away your focus from the lesson and growth towards something better.  One specific quote that become close to my heart is ‘rejection is you being propelled towards something even better.’
• Trust requires you to face fears and put the mirror to yourself.  When we are ‘in control’ we don’t have to face our issues right? When we have to trust in a process or outcome we have to look in ward and unpack why feelings are bubbling to the surface. And as yucky as this stuff can be sometimes, it’s needed and it’s so helpful.  Because without this, ourselves and the world misses out on a version of ourselves.  Upon reflection, I had outcomes that never panned out… BUT imagine how many people would have missed out on a more evolved version of me if stuff in the past worked out?  
• 
  Trust and letting go requires you to love and trust yourself even more than you are prepared to initially.  It also requires you to connect even deeper to a power beyond yourself.  It takes a deeper level of love to trust that things will work out for the best.  Moving where you are guided and listening deeply to what you need is like giving yourself a big hug and saying ‘I think you are so amazing that I want to help you see what you can be and more.’  And it’s daily practice to build on that.

So yes, the journey continues.  Am I enjoying it at this very second? Look it’s probably about a 7/10, but I also doing it knowing that it’s for my higher good and will bring about some outcomes I need in my life.  So I guess we see how it all pans out in the coming months and various outcomes I hope for come to fruition!