’ve had a few situations happen lately where I have really had to reflect and pray over who I am as a person and the attitude I give off. I will admit that my thinking has gone a little off-track lately and I feel like maybe lately I am giving off the vibe of immaturity and being ungrateful.I feel like lately I have been really challenged to ‘grow again’. I don’t mean start over as such, but stretch myself to the next level of discipline and maturity. I really thought that this year would be my ‘consolidation year’, but it seems that I am being tested to points in my emotional capacity that I never knew I had. Admittedly I have been told some things about myself that make me really angry and want to tear a new one into that particular person (and also admittedly, I wish he had dealt with it differently, but what is done is done). But I have to acknowledge what he has said, grow some maturity and do something about it. If I want to be someone of worth and live a life of worth, I have to listen to constructive opinions, no matter how much it annoys me. Me whinging about how much of a tool he is isn’t really being constructive at all, if anything it’s stopping me from growing to my full potential.
Admittley I have complained a little more, stressed a little and gotten more short tempered than usual lately. It’s a small habit that has crept into my life and I'm really starting to notice it now. I guess in a sense I call it 'spoiled brat syndrome'. I have so much to be thankful for: A permanent job, a consistent wage, a beautiful daughter, my health, a safe home, a bed to sleep on. Yet I complain about how much some people annoy me, wanting to be married and how emotionally straining/ much hard work my job is..... I want someone else's green grass yet mine is beautiful and lucious. What is wrong with me???? So many only dream of what I have yet I complain about it. It makes me look so ungrateful for what God has provided for me. The reality is if I want to move forwards, I need to 'grow up', enjoy the paddock I am in and stop letting my emotions overcome who I truly am. I have said it numerous times that GROWTH HURTS.... The experiences are VERY painful right now and I am not using it to my advantage. Rather I am pulling myself back!
Wish me luck through this next stage of my growth.... who knows what good will come from it. :-)