What's your story?

I’ve really taken it upon myself to really work on fixing some mindsets to get myself to a better point of influence and value in my life.  Outside of cutting back on social media time, more focused devotional time and creating a gratitude jar, I have gone back to reading during my devotional time.  Everyone has been madly suggesting to the “The Universe Has Your Back.”  Therefore, a couple of days ago I took it upon myself to get the audible book and start listening to it while making breakfast.  I seriously understand why everyone is raving about it! 

There’s a few great gems so far, but one that has really challenged me is the concept of ‘choosing your story.’  Now I’ll be honest here, when God (or whatever you choose as your higher power) is trying to really emphasise a point, He will really make sure it’s clear he wants you to get the point.  I’ve had so many times I’ve been told, ‘only you can write your story,’ your thoughts this… your thoughts that…

Ultimately, I want more from my life in all areas.  I want to be valued and respected.  I want to get married to the right man.  I want a life of incredible value and influence.  But if I am truly honest with myself, I’M the one limiting the opportunity.  I AM the one writing the sad narrative.  I AM the one pulling myself back from what I can truly become.  More than ever I am being challenged to change my story for the better.

For the last decade I have walked into a classroom as teacher feeling like a fraud and the ‘beginner who isn’t good enough.’  Because of some circumstances in my early teaching career, I embedded within myself the belief that I’m not good enough, not respected enough, and will never be beyond the ‘beginner’ that will always be scrutinised.  Because of that, I have never truly (really deeply) believed in the quality of my work.  When I stuff up, that internal voice tells me, ‘told you so… see!’  Because of my story, I ‘believe’ that I’m not taken seriously or respected as a teacher and I will never truly move up in a progression of influence.

But I have to rewrite that story and remember why entire teaching career is not based on some circumstances in the beginning.  At that stage I wasn’t teaching authentically, I lacked self-awareness, I wasn’t given direction or opportunity to give my best work that was authentic to me.  Although teaching is a constant continuum of learning and we are never ‘truly there,’ I am teaching from a place of authenticity and I am a great teacher.  I want what’s best for the kids, I want to learn more, I get comfort from being organised and know what I’m doing.  I have to remind myself that if my work wasn’t good enough, I wouldn’t be trusted to facilitate an entire sport house, or trusted to run a subject solo or to help organise performances or run smaller teams.  Ultimately, if I want more, my first step is to rewrite the story that I know I truly am and deserve. 

I have other areas in my life where I have to change my narrative, and I’m taking the steps to work towards them.  Making that choice and understanding it’s one daily decision, dialogue and mindset at a time will slowly take me to a place beyond anything I ever knew possible.

So, what’s your internal dialogue?  Is it from a place of love or fear?  Is it holding you back or catapulting you into greatness?  My challenge to you is during those moments of fear or platueing, take note of your thoughts and write them down.  Start to observe the patterns of when they happen.  What’s the trigger?  What’s the dud phrase?  From there rewrite that phrase as an affirmation to remind you to redirect your brain back to positive thinking.  I’ve heard of the bracelet theory as well which I want to try:  If you’re thinking positive, place the bracelet on your right wrist, if you’re slipping into old habits, place it on your left wrist. 

Ultimately, it’s a daily decision, and there will be mistakes along the way.  But consistency, an action of love and the faith it will all work out will get you where you need to be.