Unpacking Luggage

 

If my memory serves me, this should be my first blog post as a 30 year old! As you can see the gaps between posts are getting bigger due to my busy life.  It’s also hard to believe that in a few short months I will have had this blog running for two years; been happily single for 2 ½ years and my beautiful princess will be starting her first year of schooling…. It sure goes quick!

Admittedly I had so many expectations about entering my 30’s – and in my first month it’s met most of my expectations.  On a personal level I really feel like these last couple of months have been a ‘transitional’ stage to prepare me for the next decade.  I have so many hopes and dreams for this next decade of my life and I am so excited for what each day of it is going to provide.  Getting older doesn’t scare me – it gets me excited because I know with age comes maturity and a wider capacity to walk through each day.  Through personal reflection, I really started to explore aspects of my life that I wanted to ‘make peace with’ before I really get stuck into my 30’s.  Because let’s face it, who wants to keep dragging unwanted baggage through the decades???!!

I want to share some of the things that I have reflected on and are trying to make peace with.  I have nothing to hide and if anything I want to share my feelings and reflections on this topic to inspire others to start thinking about what the next ten years can hold for them if they are willing to unload that suitcase a little bit.  These are some of the things I am working on making peace with:

1.       My desire for control and the answers to be right there in front of me:

I like…. No wait I LOVE it when things are set out in stone for me…. Black and white…. It makes me comfortable because I love working to a structure/routine.  I HATE being unorganised and at times I feel like the ‘old school country’ side of me is disappointed that my life hasn’t panned out in the typical ‘old school’ way. I have always felt more comfortable when the answers are right there and I can roll with it.  But I have had to work with the ideal that the answers aren’t always there and I am SOLELY responsible for how I control my feelings and dealings of these things.   

2.       Not over-complicating things…. Go back to the basics….

I have had a really bad track record with this!  For years I would think that complexity meant success because I put in more effort.  It’s been amazing how much I have achieved in the last few years by living simply and allowing the right kind of love and grace to work with my decisions.  I have been making the conscious effort to sit through situations and see them for what they are before I make the next move.  Sometimes it might be something as simple as seeing a situation from a different perspective and letting time pass before making a decision. 

3.       Accepting that people in this world are hurtful and will never change:

I have been hurt by so many people over the years…. But haven’t we all? The biggest lesson that I have had to learn lately is that it’s an individual’s choice in how they conduct themselves and I have no control over that.  I am also working on coming to the understanding that some people chose to never change their stripes.  As tough as it is, I have had to try and turn my thoughts away from what people have done to me and look at what’s been done with them.  Some of those people have made the choice to keep the mindset they have or even carry their hurt and I have to accept that.  Sure their hurtful behaviour is NOT OK, but biting back doesn’t help with anything.  Dealing with love in those situations is sometimes as simple as just seeing things for how they are and walking away.

4.       Create a loving and meaningful relationship with myself, my family and my closest friends:

In order for me to be kind to others, I have to be kind to myself.  I spent a great portion of my teens and twenties punishing myself and being completing unaccepting of my qualities.  Now that I have a daughter (who mind you is VERY impressionable) I can’t be so hard on myself because all it’s going to do is teach Tayla that it’s ok to hate herself.  I make sure I present myself well, keep fit, write myself positive messages, read books and blogs, get as much sleep as I can, spend quality time with my daughter…. Whatever I need to do to make myself feel appreciated.  I figure that if I want to eventually settle down with someone and create a bigger family I need to give MYSELF the same positive attention that I would expect from someone else.  At the end of the day I want to model what a strong woman is to my daughter so that I can encourage her to be strong and love herself as she gets older.

I am so excited for what this next decade has in store for me…. It’s like this amazing jewellery box where every day I am figuring out something new about myself and others.  I look forward to keeping the blogs up when I can and I hope that I can inspire others to make some subtle (or big) changes in their life that will positively impact them in the coming years! J