A pat on the back
Generally in grand scheme of things I am doing well. But like anyone, from time to time things get very tiring and sometimes all I want is a few encouraging words to help me get back on the horse and keep going. This blog is merely for my own encouragement, but if others are encouraged, I am happy all the same!
I admit that the last few days have been tiring, but I realistically feel that it's a cultivation of a busy year of growing, changing and adapting. It has been one of the most difficult, yet rewarding years of my life and honestly I wouldn't change a thing. Days in my comfort zone have been very rare, with my capacity and character being stretched to levels I have never experienced before. I could begin to go through them, but the list is way too long.
Sometimes it's tiring being a full-time worker….. teaching is not an easy profession. It's not easy being a part time mum…. especially when I have to gather the maternal strength to only be a physical mum for half the time. It really messes with you sometimes. Somedays it's not easy to run a household on my own with no one to help me clean, cook, repair or pay bills. Sometimes it's not easy to put on so many different hats and have a full schedule, especially when it's on top of essentials. As a normal human being with emotions, some days I want the things I don't have rather than the life I have…. it's the nature of emotions.
In the grand scheme of things though I try not to think about WHAT I do, but rather WHY I do. This gives me a sense of grounding on those days that I feel a little discouraged:
Why do I allow Tayla's Father share custody rather than fight for full custody? Because I want to see Tayla raised equally by her biological Mother and Father regardless of our status.
Why do I teach? Because I want to contribute towards shaping academic and moral values of our future.
Why do I serve in my Church? Because I want to see someone get the same new beginning that I got and see the incredible value of life.
Why am I still single? Because I will only settle for the man that's right for me.
Why do I run a household on my own? Because I want to model responsibility to my daughter.
Why do I keep fit? Because I want to teach my daughter about the value of life.
So ultimately my source of encouragement for today are three points:
1. Discomfort brings growth and reward.
2. 'Why' is more important than 'what'.
3. I would never be given these opportunities if I wasn't capable of them.... so I should see it all as an enormous complement.